I'm Dying Inside

It's been three weeks now. I miss being pregnant. I miss Adrianna. I feel like I’ve failed as a Mommy and I didn’t protect her like I was supposed to. Wasn’t there something I could have done? Should I have fought more at the hospital? Should I not have let them “induce” me? Should I have kept her longer before I let the nurses take her away? Should I asked to have seen her one more time before I left the hospital? I just feel so empty inside. I don’t have words for the pain I’m feeling. I just am not sure how one can make it through the end of this. I want a baby so bad, and now I have to start all over again, but with even more fear than I had before. I keep calling to her asking her to come back, but she doesn’t listen. She can’t come back, and I know that but a part of me keeps hoping for a miracle. What do I do now?