I thought that by creating posts earlier and saving as drafts that they would show the original date. Well, our transfer was actually 8/5. We are currently 12w3d pregnant with a singleton! So far everything is looking great and my closet is already full of baby clothes!
Friday, October 12, 2012
Friday, October 5, 2012
The Big Day
Today we transferred 2 4AB embryos into our GC. How exciting! We were told that they look beautiful. We will start POAS next Sunday, but the official test is the 16th.
First and Hopefully Only Cycle
7/16 CD 1 and baseline appointment. Got the OK to start stims on Wednesday! I will be taking 300iu Follistim and 150iu Menopur. I will also be taking 120 of Lovenox to prevent clotting, as I got a blood clot in my leg when I was on bedrest with the triplets.
7/18 was in a car accident, put on 800 Ibuprofen, so I'm unable to start Lovenox, but I can take everything else.
7/20 3rd stay of stims and add Lovenox!
7/21 First monitoring appointment. e2 is 118 and only 4 follicles. The nurse has assured me that this is OK as it is still early. With my e2 having gone up so much, I AM responding and more follicles will show on Tuesday when I go back. I sure hope so!
7/18 was in a car accident, put on 800 Ibuprofen, so I'm unable to start Lovenox, but I can take everything else.
7/20 3rd stay of stims and add Lovenox!
7/21 First monitoring appointment. e2 is 118 and only 4 follicles. The nurse has assured me that this is OK as it is still early. With my e2 having gone up so much, I AM responding and more follicles will show on Tuesday when I go back. I sure hope so!
.......Surrogacy
Shortly after we had our triplets, DH and I decided surrogacy was probably our best option. There is no way we could ever go through losing another one, and only so much that my body could handle. My friend has offered a few times to be our surrogate and it's time to take her up on her offer! We consulted with our RE at the end of February, and was told that we should take her up on her offer. In the beginning of February, we asked her, and she accepted! After multiple appointments, physicals, clearance letters, psych evaluations, contracts prepared, we are ready to go!
Thursday, July 12, 2012
Triplets
I haven't posted in quite some time....
My last post I mentioned that we were going to start TTC again. Well, on our 3rd cycle we got pregnant! I found out about two weeks later that it was actually triplets! We were thrilled but scared as hell. I got a cerclage placed at 12w1d. At 13w3d, I was put in the hospital. I was bleeding and they had to remove my cerclage. There was so much pressure being put on it from gigantic clots, that if the didn't remove the stitch, my cervix would have torn. I was in the hospital for 16 days and ended up having Max, Angel and Manuel at noon on February 5, 2012 at 15w3d. Today I would be exactly 38 weeks pregnant, but I know that I never would have made it that far. I was hoping to make it to 28 weeks. I miss them. I miss Adrianna. I wonder if one day I will ever become a mommy to a living child?
My last post I mentioned that we were going to start TTC again. Well, on our 3rd cycle we got pregnant! I found out about two weeks later that it was actually triplets! We were thrilled but scared as hell. I got a cerclage placed at 12w1d. At 13w3d, I was put in the hospital. I was bleeding and they had to remove my cerclage. There was so much pressure being put on it from gigantic clots, that if the didn't remove the stitch, my cervix would have torn. I was in the hospital for 16 days and ended up having Max, Angel and Manuel at noon on February 5, 2012 at 15w3d. Today I would be exactly 38 weeks pregnant, but I know that I never would have made it that far. I was hoping to make it to 28 weeks. I miss them. I miss Adrianna. I wonder if one day I will ever become a mommy to a living child?
Sunday, September 4, 2011
A Day of Anniversaries
September 4, 2004, I married the love of my life at 20 years old. I never knew what lied ahead for us. I knew we both wanted to be young parents, and just knew it would happen. We were married, already owned our own house and had stable jobs. We were way better off than any of our friends, and they were getting pregnant left and right and none of them had half of we had.
September 4, 2011, here we are, still here, still married, just the two of us. My first baby was due September 4, 2007. We should be extremely stressed out while planning for 50 people to come over and celebrate a little girl's 4th birthday. I wonder what she would have liked. Disney Princesses? Smurfs? Barbies? Zoo Animals? The thoughts are endless. Instead of overlooking our anniversary so our first born could have the best birthday a little girl could have, we visit the cemetery to say a quick hello to her. Well, we don't really get to say hi to her, we visit a statue that was donated to the cemetery from the hospital that performed my d&c on February 7, 2007 at 10 weeks gestation after her heart stopped beating unexpectedly. Each step to that beautiful statue that represents all those little babies and all the families that didn't opt to take their baby's remains home with them is hard. To get to that statue, you pass hundreds of babies lives that were cut way too short. I've always gone to the cemetery in February when you have to trudge through two feet of snow. You know you are walking through graves, but you are spared the details. Today I noticed little ones that passed away the same day they were born, at two days old, one month old, and even two years old. It isn't fair. It's not fair that there are so many parents out there who have had to bury their children and it isn't fair to the babies that that their lives were taken away from them. As I finally got to that statue, and my husband and I hold each other, I can't believe it has been more than 4 1/2 years since we lost our first baby, whose name was probably going to be Brooklyn.
Today I took a picture of tha
t statue. I know I have one around my house saved on a CD somewhere, but I wanted to text it to my friend, Stefanie, as I know she would appreciate the beauty of it. When I get back to the car, I sent Stefanie that picture. After I sent it, I noticed that there was a rainbow shooting across the front of the picture. Maybe "Brooklyn" was there with me today and is going to attempt sending me yet another rainbow? I hope so!
Today also marks four months since I delivered Adrianna. I can't believe it's already been four months. I can, and often do, replay moments of that day in my head. As I replay them, I know that nothing could have been changed. I know that I did nothing wrong. I delivered my baby girl too early, and I miss her with all my heart. I think about her constantly and often look at her pictures. Her ashes are in my bedroom and I talk to her all the time. I hope that she looks down on her Daddy and I and know that we love her sooo much. I would do anything to have her back.
So, after seven years of marriage here we are, still here, still married, just the two of us.
September 4, 2011, here we are, still here, still married, just the two of us. My first baby was due September 4, 2007. We should be extremely stressed out while planning for 50 people to come over and celebrate a little girl's 4th birthday. I wonder what she would have liked. Disney Princesses? Smurfs? Barbies? Zoo Animals? The thoughts are endless. Instead of overlooking our anniversary so our first born could have the best birthday a little girl could have, we visit the cemetery to say a quick hello to her. Well, we don't really get to say hi to her, we visit a statue that was donated to the cemetery from the hospital that performed my d&c on February 7, 2007 at 10 weeks gestation after her heart stopped beating unexpectedly. Each step to that beautiful statue that represents all those little babies and all the families that didn't opt to take their baby's remains home with them is hard. To get to that statue, you pass hundreds of babies lives that were cut way too short. I've always gone to the cemetery in February when you have to trudge through two feet of snow. You know you are walking through graves, but you are spared the details. Today I noticed little ones that passed away the same day they were born, at two days old, one month old, and even two years old. It isn't fair. It's not fair that there are so many parents out there who have had to bury their children and it isn't fair to the babies that that their lives were taken away from them. As I finally got to that statue, and my husband and I hold each other, I can't believe it has been more than 4 1/2 years since we lost our first baby, whose name was probably going to be Brooklyn.
Today I took a picture of tha
t statue. I know I have one around my house saved on a CD somewhere, but I wanted to text it to my friend, Stefanie, as I know she would appreciate the beauty of it. When I get back to the car, I sent Stefanie that picture. After I sent it, I noticed that there was a rainbow shooting across the front of the picture. Maybe "Brooklyn" was there with me today and is going to attempt sending me yet another rainbow? I hope so!
Today also marks four months since I delivered Adrianna. I can't believe it's already been four months. I can, and often do, replay moments of that day in my head. As I replay them, I know that nothing could have been changed. I know that I did nothing wrong. I delivered my baby girl too early, and I miss her with all my heart. I think about her constantly and often look at her pictures. Her ashes are in my bedroom and I talk to her all the time. I hope that she looks down on her Daddy and I and know that we love her sooo much. I would do anything to have her back.
So, after seven years of marriage here we are, still here, still married, just the two of us.
Friday, August 19, 2011
Decisions, Decisions
The title says it all. I'm not sure how to know whether or not the right decisions are being made. What Dr. do I see? Are we ready to start trying? Do we tell people? What kind of cerclage should I get? Should I wait until after surgery?
How do I know the decision I'm making is the best one? The truth is, I don't think that there is a right answer. I guess I have to trust my heart and do what I THINK is right. Well, I got the go ahead to start trying to conceive again! I went to my RE to see if I can start Provera and low and behold, I ovulated ON MY OWN! If you knew anything about my body, you would know that a miracle happened! I don't know of any time in my life that I ovulated without help of medication. Because of this, I cannot take Provera. Whenever my period shows up (which should be in the next week), I'll be able to have a baseline appointment and start my injections. I just can't believe it. It's hard to believe that we have to start all over again. As much as I love and miss Adrianna, I really want to be a parent to a live baby. I do not feel guilty about wanting a baby, and I'm sure she understands. There hasn't been a few minutes that passed that I haven't thought of her, and I'm sure I'll think of her every single day for the rest of my life! I can only hope that any subsequent babies are as beautiful as her!
I'll be having surgery on Monday for my torn ligaments in my ankle. I'm a little nervous about the surgery as the last time I was at a hospital, I delivered and lost by baby girl. I will be having surgery at the hospital I was SUPPOSED to deliver her at in the next 6 weeks. I've always dreamt of having my babies there, and I was born there, but now it will never happen. I'll always have to deliver at a high risk hospital with a top-notch NICU. Let's just hope I never have to use it!
How do I know the decision I'm making is the best one? The truth is, I don't think that there is a right answer. I guess I have to trust my heart and do what I THINK is right. Well, I got the go ahead to start trying to conceive again! I went to my RE to see if I can start Provera and low and behold, I ovulated ON MY OWN! If you knew anything about my body, you would know that a miracle happened! I don't know of any time in my life that I ovulated without help of medication. Because of this, I cannot take Provera. Whenever my period shows up (which should be in the next week), I'll be able to have a baseline appointment and start my injections. I just can't believe it. It's hard to believe that we have to start all over again. As much as I love and miss Adrianna, I really want to be a parent to a live baby. I do not feel guilty about wanting a baby, and I'm sure she understands. There hasn't been a few minutes that passed that I haven't thought of her, and I'm sure I'll think of her every single day for the rest of my life! I can only hope that any subsequent babies are as beautiful as her!
I'll be having surgery on Monday for my torn ligaments in my ankle. I'm a little nervous about the surgery as the last time I was at a hospital, I delivered and lost by baby girl. I will be having surgery at the hospital I was SUPPOSED to deliver her at in the next 6 weeks. I've always dreamt of having my babies there, and I was born there, but now it will never happen. I'll always have to deliver at a high risk hospital with a top-notch NICU. Let's just hope I never have to use it!
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